Preferably with Chardonnay...

Wow. What a week!

I started writing this blog post, and I was pretty much griping about how much is going on. It took me about three paragraphs before I had to give it up. Yep. Just call me a quitter. I simply cannot be negative for very long. Call me Pollyanna, but I ain’t got no time for that.

I am that person who, despite my sarcastic wit, takes offense to those post about how there is no way a person’s life can be as good as the stuff they post on Facebook. I take offense because, really, my life is pretty awesome. Am I perfect? Of course. Or not really. But I my life is pretty great. And I just can’t complain for very long. So let me tell you a little about my week now that my attitude is adjusted.

So here is the scoop: My family owns a business. I work at said business, though I sometimes question my sanity in doing so.  Over the course of the last 4 business days, we have decided that it would be a great idea (and, in truth, it probably IS a great idea) to open a new location. In three days.Three days. I keep telling myself that if Jesus offered all of humanity salvation in three days, surely we can open a store. I'm stressed.

           

Yep. And the truth is I am not sure why I am stressed. I mean most of the set up is not my problem. Of course, I will be there scrubbing and painting, loading and unloading just like everyone else. But I am the low man on the totem pole. No bucks stop here. And I have the paycheck to prove it. Can I also just say that I am glad the new store is next to the bottle shop?

In other news, it is July. More specifically, it is the end of July so we are in full-on back-to-school mode. Maybe the bottle shop carries glue sticks? I am generally the mom who has a list, prioritized and color-coded. Yeah whatever. I think my socks might match. Or not.

And did anyone notice any rain this summer? Perhaps the fact that I may need to purchase a canoe to get the mail has made me realize how much rain we have had. Perhaps it is the 2951 tomatoes I harvest daily. The only person in my family who eats raw tomatoes is my six year old. By the end of this week, I will have put up at least ten quarts of tomatoes. THIS WEEK. And I have peas coming out of my ears. I have to give a shout out to the family for helping me out with all of this. And I hope my kids love peas and tomatoes as we will be eating them twice weekly until at least next summer. When we get to start all over! I am not really complaining, though. The garden has been a lot of fun. I am still looking forward to expounding on this topic in a future post.

                                     

This is the tomato harvest from today from ONE plant. I have SEVEN.

My last thing to complain about is my busted lip. Kid #2 decided that I needed fuller lips, and injections are just too pricey. So he used his head and fixed it himself. Literally. He used his head to enlarge my lips by head butting me as I kissed him goodnight. Now I pout even when I smile. Not true. I can’t smile. At least, not without bleeding.

So it appears that my biggest complaints are that my family business is growing, I have a job, my kids still have some time left for summer vacation, my literal harvest is truly plentiful, and I kissed my kids goodnight this evening. So you can see why I am a Pollyanna. Even at its craziest, there is still a lot to love about life. I hope I will always see my glass as half full. And with the bottle shop next door to work, it should be even easier to keep it that way. Preferably with chardonnay.

It's Baaaaaaaaaack (But Not Backkkkkkkkkkkkk)

So it’s been a while. Like, forever, since my last blog post. Like I could have gestated two kids, one a time, since I was here last. (Like, in the editing of this post, I, like, realized that I, like, say “like” too much. Yeah. “Like” and “so” are probably my two favorite words. I have some others, but I try to keep this blog PG-13 at worst.)

No one dusted here while I was gone.  But do they ever? I live in dudedom. I am lucky if the toilets are flushed. No one here believes in dusting. Or getting all of the pee in the toilet. I think I should get a medal for cleaning 3 bathrooms in a house full of dudes.

Yes, I am rambling. Did you miss me?

For real, now, let’s talk. It has been a very long time since I last picked up the pen (actually clicking the keys, but pens are much more poetic. Perhaps I should go with quills instead. But that was one creepy movie).  Things have changed a little for me:

1.       I am down almost 50 pounds (I am so ready to lose that almost BS. I want to say 50.)

2.      I have discovered that I love to run. I know. That is just weird. Who would want to do that? I will make sure that this one is a post in the near future.

3.      My kids have gotten older. And louder. Well, maybe not really louder, but certainly mouthier.

4.      I discovered Dave Ramsey. We have a love/hate relationship. But, except for the house, we are debt free!!! (Do you have any idea how much I HATE multiple exclamation points? How juvenile. I’m never juvenile. Or something like that. And I ALWAYS use complete sentences. And I’m NEVER sarcastic. Ever. But I really do hate multiple exclamation points. And when people drag out a word, but with the wrong letter. Like “darkkkkkkkkkkk” instead of “daaaaaaaaark.” If you said “darkkkkkkkkkkk” it would sound like a machine gun and be very awkward. While we are at it, I also hate the term “preggo” for pregnant. And I dang sure hate “prego.” That’s pasta sauce, not gestation.)

5.      I lost two of my three remaining grandparents. This one hurts every day. Every. Day.

6.      My husband watches crappy TV. This is not new, but it bears repeating that Pork Chop has terrible taste in entertainment. The good news: Project Runway kicks off again in two days. Raising the roof—Woot! Woot! So glad we have cable. I should blog about how fun the 6 months of no cable were.

7.      I will be taking a year off from my teaching job. I’m not sure I know how to not be a teacher. But as we are half-way through summer, I can say I am NOT cut out to home school my kids. I am pretty sure that this will be the topic of a future post. Stay tuned.

8.      On a similar note, I will now be working at the family business. Again. This will make a hilarious topic of discussion, though I may get disinherited for my insights. Stay tuned. We’ll see how ballsy I get. (Is “ballsy” PG or PG-13? I don’t really want to explain that word to my kids. I am pretty sure it would end in some lewd dancing on their part. I often wonder if my sons are the only ones who are like that.)

9.      My kids have gotten old enough to protest when I post embarrassing things about them. Like lewd dancing references. This makes my job as mother so much more fun!

10.   My kids have gotten old enough to help more. Like when #2 redecorated our lawn by putting fertilizer out in an awesome zebra pattern.

11.    I have discovered this ridiculousness called “Clean Eating.” I am not sure exactly where that road will lead, but it better include chocolate chip cookies.

12.   We planted our first garden, which is more like a jungle. An adventure in itself. Perhaps another future topic of discussion.

So that is what I have been up to for the last year and a half. You know, that and reading junky books, making lists (Woot! Woot!), fishing, housecleaning, yelling, swimming to my mailbox (has it rained any this summer?) and watching crappy TV with Pork Chop.

When I started this post, I had no idea where I was going to go with it. Apparently it is preview of future posts (Me make coherent post!) and a short list of annoyances.  So now I have some ideas, and you are all waiting with bated breath for my next installment.  Or maybe you will just go grab a beer and get on with your life. Either way, it feels good to write again. So come back and see me. Maybe I’ll dust.