So it’s been a
while. Like, forever, since my last blog post. Like I could have gestated two
kids, one a time, since I was here last. (Like, in the editing of this post, I,
like, realized that I, like, say “like” too much. Yeah. “Like” and “so” are
probably my two favorite words. I have some others, but I try to keep this blog
PG-13 at worst.)
No one dusted
here while I was gone. But do they ever?
I live in dudedom. I am lucky if the toilets are flushed. No one here believes
in dusting. Or getting all of the pee in the toilet. I think I should get a
medal for cleaning 3 bathrooms in a house full of dudes.
Yes, I am
rambling. Did you miss me?
For real, now,
let’s talk. It has been a very long time since I last picked up the pen
(actually clicking the keys, but pens are much more poetic. Perhaps I should go
with quills instead. But that was one creepy movie). Things have changed a little for me:
1. I am down almost 50 pounds (I am so ready
to lose that almost BS. I want to say 50.)
2. I have discovered that I love to run. I
know. That is just weird. Who would want to do that? I will make sure that this
one is a post in the near future.
3. My kids have gotten older. And louder. Well,
maybe not really louder, but certainly mouthier.
4. I discovered Dave Ramsey. We have a
love/hate relationship. But, except for the house, we are debt free!!! (Do you
have any idea how much I HATE multiple exclamation points? How juvenile. I’m
never juvenile. Or something like that. And I ALWAYS use complete sentences.
And I’m NEVER sarcastic. Ever. But I really do hate multiple exclamation
points. And when people drag out a word, but with the wrong letter. Like “darkkkkkkkkkkk”
instead of “daaaaaaaaark.” If you said “darkkkkkkkkkkk” it would sound like a
machine gun and be very awkward. While we are at it, I also hate the term “preggo”
for pregnant. And I dang sure hate “prego.” That’s pasta sauce, not gestation.)
5. I lost two of my three remaining
grandparents. This one hurts every day. Every. Day.
6. My husband watches crappy TV. This is not
new, but it bears repeating that Pork Chop has terrible taste in entertainment.
The good news: Project Runway kicks off again in two days. Raising the roof—Woot!
Woot! So glad we have cable. I should blog about how fun the 6 months of no
cable were.
7. I will be taking a year off from my
teaching job. I’m not sure I know how to not be a teacher. But as we are
half-way through summer, I can say I am NOT cut out to home school my kids. I
am pretty sure that this will be the topic of a future post. Stay tuned.
8. On a similar note, I will now be working
at the family business. Again. This will make a hilarious topic of discussion,
though I may get disinherited for my insights. Stay tuned. We’ll see how ballsy
I get. (Is “ballsy” PG or PG-13? I don’t really want to explain that word to my
kids. I am pretty sure it would end in some lewd dancing on their part. I often
wonder if my sons are the only ones who are like that.)
9. My kids have gotten old enough to protest
when I post embarrassing things about them. Like lewd dancing references. This
makes my job as mother so much more fun!
10. My kids have gotten old enough to help
more. Like when #2 redecorated our lawn by putting fertilizer out in an awesome
zebra pattern.
11. I have discovered this ridiculousness
called “Clean Eating.” I am not sure exactly where that road will lead, but it
better include chocolate chip cookies.
12. We planted our first garden, which is
more like a jungle. An adventure in itself. Perhaps another future topic of
discussion.
So that is what
I have been up to for the last year and a half. You know, that and reading
junky books, making lists (Woot! Woot!), fishing, housecleaning, yelling, swimming
to my mailbox (has it rained any this summer?) and watching crappy TV with Pork
Chop.
When I started this
post, I had no idea where I was going to go with it. Apparently it is preview of
future posts (Me make coherent post!) and a short list of annoyances. So now I have some ideas, and you are all
waiting with bated breath for my next installment. Or maybe you will just go grab a beer and get
on with your life. Either way, it feels good to write again. So come back and
see me. Maybe I’ll dust.
No comments:
Post a Comment